Many refugees ask this question of themselves, in the presence of their fellow refugees, since it defines their situation. The question is widespread among young adolescents, or those approaching this age group.
«I'm a refugee, this is what I'm now called, I'm a refugee,» says Umayma sharply, speaking with a Deraa accent. She left her city more than three years ago. In her mind, this definition weighs heavily on her as it defines her identity and the social class to which she belongs, i.e. the refugee community. It defines her as a person who has lost the basic elements of life.
«My name is 'refugee',» says a little girl. «Meaning – no home, no new clothes, the school is neglected, and I have to put up with freezing cold winters and hot summers.»
What Umayma acknowledged is rejected by others. At the Qabb Elias camp, young boys gather around Abdullah, 15. They are deep in a discussion that is much older than their years, using words that aren't from the dictionary of a teenager. They talk about «an impossible future,» «dead-ends,» and «delayed solutions.» They hate the word refugee and as Abdullah himself insists, «Don't call it a camp. It's a workshop. One that we're forced to live in forever.» The word refugee for him and others is tantamount to an insult.
In the project «Seeing the Self» managed by the artist Sabine Choucair and the director Eliane Raheb, and supported by UNICEF, teenage refugees produce short films that express what they think about their conditions as refugees. One of the films is called «Zeez,» and is less than five minutes long. The word «zeez,» the annoying and useless cicada, is repeated in the movie dozens of times, as it is daily in the lives of refugee teenagers, and it is also used by Lebanese teenagers.
Perhaps one can say that seeing all of the films produced by «Seeing the Self» allows one to come away with answers about the meaning of the word refugee.
To be a refugee means that a teenager is exposed daily to insults and beatings; in other words, other people make them feel that they are their masters, and can intervene in their affairs.
A refugee means being a teenager with no protection.
A refugee means being a teenager who likes the lifestyle of the people in the host country and tries to imitate them, but remains ugly in their eyes.
A refugee means a teenager doing physically exhausting work for low pay.
A refugee means a teenager facing obstacles to studying in schools that engage in exploiting refugees; they exit with no diplomas.
Being a refugee naturally has dozens of other meanings, which should be understood by living with refugees for a month and not by imposing our opinions and agendas, or the product of our imaginations.